A woman who divorced her husband to salvage their relationship reveals they are now happily dating, but she won't remarry him as she "doesn't need that kind of validation".
Anu Verma and Robert Durrant were at first sight while on separate party holidays in . However, the love story was short-lived, with Anu filing for divorce just two years after they said 'I do', following a battle with postnatal .
The 44-year-old attempted to date again, but couldn't shake off thoughts of her ex-husband, leading to their old spark reigniting. They are now reunited, but Anu is adamant about not walking down the aisle again.
"I don't want to get remarried because I don't need that kind of validation anymore," Anu, hailing from Coventry, confessed to .
“The strain of being married and what that means – and other people’s expectations – is what ultimately led to its demise. But while I tried to move forward, there were moments when I found myself wishing the person I was dating was Rob.
“It was a complicated time and it forced me to confront my unresolved feelings. It took getting divorced to let us heal and grow as individuals to save our relationship. I don’t want or need to be a wife.”
The divorce was partly sparked by Anu's struggles following the birth of her first child, Noah, in 2018. The mum-of-two, who also has a daughter, began to harbour "resentment" not just towards her ex-husband but also within herself.
She felt trapped in a situation that brought her "sadness and low self-worth". Her relationship with Robert started to deteriorate. Anu revealed: "At first, our marriage felt like a breath of fresh air."
"But then feelings of lingering insecurity and fear of abandonment started to kick in. We started arguing more frequently and I felt increasingly more resentful - not so much toward Rob, but for the situation we were in.
"It was clear by the time of our divorce that being together was no longer healthy for us."
Struggling with the challenges of co-parenting, Anu sought the help of a therapist to navigate her emotions. That's when she discovered she had been battling postnatal depression.
As feelings of guilt started to pour in, Anu reached out to Rob. Two years after their , they reunited, but this time without wedding vows.
She confessed: "Knowing that our marriage ended, in part, due to my struggles with postnatal depression was incredibly difficult to come to terms with.
"I felt a deep sense of guilt and regret, wondering if things would have been different if I had recognised these issues earlier.
"It was painful but it also motivated me to focus on healing. Rob and I realised that there was still a strong bond between us and decided to give it another chance."
Rob tends to be old-fashioned and doesn't entirely agree with Anu's choice not to remarry. However, Anu believes his top priority is her happiness.
She explained: "He knows I don't follow traditional norms, especially when it comes to marriage but it's what he loves about me.
"I am worried about negative feelings resurfacing if we were to tie the knot again and, for me, that's the main reason right now that we're not looking into it.
"Our marriage broke down in part because of postnatal depression, but mostly because we were not communicating. It ended up with us living separate lives and from there, it was just a continuous downward spiral until our divorce."
Since reuniting in September 2021, the couple welcomed their second child, Eva. Although people are surprised to learn about their divorce and decision not to remarry, they don't face criticism for it.
Anu added: "Because we're living together with our two kids, people just see us as husband and wife. It's not really changed anything - except there's no legal document binding us together for life.
"We've had to learn the hard way how crucial it is to be open with each other about our feelings. And to address issues as they arise rather than letting them fester.
"But most importantly, we've learned how to prioritise each other and our relationship, even amidst any chaos."
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