Customer is king? You must be joking

Maybe once upon a time - when dinosaurs roamed Earth and customer service meant a smile - customer was, indeed, king. These days, most companies treat customers like distant relatives: politely ignored, quietly redirected, and secretly hoping they'll vanish after one conversation... and paying up. And they've perfected the ancient dark art of chanting, 'Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line...,' before unleashing bots trained to drain your will to live.

A think tank report backs this up in yonder Britain: 78% of Britons reportedly feel frustrated dealing with customer service, and customers lose between 28 and 41 mins each week locked in these pointless battles. In India, of course, bad customer service isn't a glitch.

Across sectors, it's practically a proud tradition. First, when they want your attention - and wallet - customer reps fall over each other with the sweetness of a hundred jars of gulab jamuns, treating you like some nawab. But the minute you sign up? Welcome to the mayajaal.

Out go the humans, in march bots, tirelessly repeating, 'Sorry, I didn't understand that.' Of course, we customers must shoulder some blame too. We let things slide, shrugging, 'We are like this only,' while expecting Swiss-level efficiency everywhere else. Somewhere between the hold-music and chatbot, the customer's crown just slipped off.